Numb is what he feels now. Numb is what his heart has become now. He is a boy with the biggest smile on his face. But if you find him in the dark and vulnerable corners of the night where he often leaves himself unguarded, you’ll find a boy staring staring numbly at the sky thinking of all the things that have happened. Of how he was supposed to turn into this handsome young men. Of how he was then and of how he is now as time had taught him the greatest lessons of his life. That the word forever is nothing but a fantasy and a stereotype created by the people and the movies. That betrayal happens to you as often as the rain in monsoon. He’d now understood that every friendship comes with an expiry date and that the concept of forever is too vague to believe. That people come and leave, and often they also leave scars. Some on your body, some on your heart and some on your soul. He knew he couldn’t be saved and he didn’t want to either. But he would always go out of his way to spread smiles. The only humanity he had left in himself.

And now after all this all he’d become was numb. He didn’t feel anything anymore. There were times when he would want to write how he felt and somehow the paper always stayed empty. And he could not have described it any better. There was a time sometime back when he’d felt happiness at its peak and sadness to the core. But there is nothing worse than being numb and feeling no more. People say that to feel nothing is an amazing feeling in itself. But now that he is numb, he longs to go back to the past. Because even though he felt like he could not survive the pain most the time, he would at least be happy at times. And now he’s just lost, lost in nothingness.


Shubham Jain

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